Cooper’s Capers

Allow me to describe last night, as it was one of the most amusing evenings I’ve had in a while, except for last Friday. I guess I’m having a good run of Friday nights…

So first I went to Reggie’s, as I am wont to do on a Friday at 4:30 PM. I had 3 or so of the $1 beers, hung around for a while, and eventually started getting ready to leave. As Annie, Roxanne and I were preparing to go, we found out that Guillaume had just bought a pitcher. So we had a couple more beers and took off.

I went to Else’s with Gui, Roxanne and Annie. I had a pint of L’Alchimiste IPA (yum!) and some food, to sustain us.

We went to a random dépanneur to get energy drinks, and Annie wanted some Halls. I wound up buying Beaver Buzz, which was awful and tasted like shisha water, and Annie got random middle-eastern Halls. Rox took off, and then we went to Kimberly’s. 

Now, we all got dressed up nicely, then went to The W Hotel for Kimberly’s fashion agent’s (or someone involved in that sort of thing) birthday party.

We took a cab over there, and the driver was INSANE. We think he was on some crazy drugs. We first asked to go to the W, and he asked “what’s that?” so we told him it was a hotel. He asked where it was, and we told him (Square Victoria), and then he asked us where that was. So we just told him to get to René Lévesque. He asked us if we were Chinese, so I just told him yes.

At one intersection, he fell asleep.

He was at the corner of Jeanne Mance and de Maisonneuve, and he asked us “what street is this?” We told him it was de Maisonneuve, and he turned onto it, then stopped and said “ah, that’s not René Lévesque”, then reversed and sped like mad down Jeanne Mance. We thought we were going to hit someone. He started asking why I was laughing my ass off, and Annie just told him I was reading funny text messages on my phone… When we got out, it took him way too long to understand how to give change, so we had to wait a little while. 

We finally got into the party at the hotel where there were a bunch of models and their friends, and a free bottle of Grey Goose. It was really swanky, totally not my crowd. But how can I say no to free booze and attractive women? I had a nicely boozed-up drink, saw some REALLY pretentious people having REALLY shallow conversations, and the bottle ran out before Gui or Annie got to have a drink, so we left.

We got in another cab, and Annie, Kimberly and Guillaume had all gotten in, and as I was stepping in, the cab driver started DRIVING AWAY, dragging me alongside the car, holding onto the door, with one foot sliding along the ice. Finally he stopped short, my shoulder whacked into the door, and I get in. He just said “sorry” and continued driving.

We met up with Patrick at Les 3 Brasseurs, but they were closing, so we couldn’t get booze. We hopped in yet another cab, but we were 5, so the cab driver was not too happy.

We dropped Annie off at the metro, then headed over to Barmacie. We got a 16oz bottle of vodka, so from that we each had a double, then vodka shots, then another double, hung around for a bit, and then went to Dieu du Ciel!

Gui, Patrick and I split a pitcher of Kölsch (not anywhere near as good as in Cologne, but still tasty.)

When everyone regrouped, we were 5 people and we wanted to get some food. 3 hopped in one cab, and Guillaume and I hopped in another.

Guess whose cab we were in?

THE INSANE GUY WHO FELL ASLEEP!!!

He didn’t know how to get from Laurier and St Laurent to Prince Arthur and St Laurent. He got confused a few times, stopped around 4 car lengths from a red light, and when we decided to have him simply turn onto des Pins instead of Prince Arthur, he said, “left?” we said “yes”, and he just started slowly moving forward. Then he got upset with us for changing our destination and made us go to Prince Arthur anyway. When we got out, we yelled at the people getting in his cab to take a different one.

In BellePros there were Trois-Rivières engineering students in their orange jumpsuits (chiennes), so I started chanting “I, T, ITR, un génie orange et vert!!” and they were entertained, so I just let ‘em know my roots and embarrassed myself with our pitiful “C O N, C O R, D I A Concordia!” cheer.

Then we all headed back to Kimberly’s and crashed there.

It was a fucking awesome night.